


Caraphernelia

by diemetzgermeisterin



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Episode: s01e13 Savoureux, Episode: s02e13 Mizumono, Loneliness, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e07 Digestivo, Someone Help Will Graham, brief description of Wills childhood, the wrong thing being the right thing to do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 17:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12730986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diemetzgermeisterin/pseuds/diemetzgermeisterin
Summary: Caraphernelia:A condition in which someone abandons you but leaves their belongings behind, including painful memories.





	Caraphernelia

Being alone comes with a dull ache that Will Graham is all too familiar with. It left a gaping void in his happiness, that he filled by forming his pack. Seven dogs and ever counting on. 

It had been Will and his pack for years. He had few friends and some acquaintances but he failed to form emotional connections with other human beings for a long time.

In his past Will always moved around with his father. This resulted in him always being the new kid. His introversion did not help him and soon he fell into a pattern of isolation. He was mad at the other kids, who all seemed happy and loved. This was when the dull ache in his chest started. Some days it would stay there, silently in the background. Other days it would expand, and he would feel it burning deeply in the pits of his stomach. 

They lived in Louisiana, were Wills dad taught him how to fix boat motors. Will loved his dad and was glad to bond over something. He had an overactive imagination, at least that was what the teachers said. Will could look at someone, inspect their behaviour, and empathise with them. A gift that would become his curse.

Will had very few romantic relationships. He never found anything meaningful in them. He sure dated a few people in high school and university, slept with some more but never found the satisfaction and acceptation that other people seemed to rave about. Will never fell in love, never experienced infatuation. The teenagers around him seemed to go out of their way for their lovers, making a big show out of a simple prom date. Will just didn’t get it.

After high school Will moved to New Orleans and became a homicide detective. His empathy helped him greatly in finding the offenders. However, his empathy prevented him from being able to pull the trigger when he had to, which resulted in him being stabbed.

Will quit this job and went back to school. He graduated with a degree in forensic science, and soon joined as a teacher at the FBI. His empathy did not go unnoticed and soon enough Jack Crawford came into his class room.

Soon Will was given the title of ‘Special investigator’ as he was deemed too unstable to become a real FBI agent. This is were his loneliness became an issue again. Jack introduced Will to Hannibal. Hannibal was a bright psychiatrist, well known and highly praised in psychiatric circles. He seemed to look at Will and recognise his darkness hidden behind layers and layers of empathy.

They started having conversations, as Hannibal called it. In all honesty, at first Will hated them. He hated how for the past few years psychiatrists had come into his life and just tried to prod into his mind. He was not going to let someone in, just to move his things around and drive him insane.

Will had shot Garret Jacob Hobbs. In the process he had cut his daughter throat. Will was shell shocked at that moment. Hannibal was there with him, intensely calm and in control of the situation. Will was deeply disturbed by the feeling of taking a life. Not because he felt guilty, instead he felt righteous and powerful. Killing him gave him a huge thrill and he had felt more alive than ever before. When he confessed this to Hannibal he had understood Will, and never judged.

After weeks Wills brain was on fire. He developed encephalitis and things were spiraling out of control. After weeks of dissociation and sleep walking Abel Gideon had escaped the mental institution he was kept in for murdering his family. He had claimed to be the Chesapeake ripper. Will doubted it. Gideon had killed his former psychiatrists, excluding doctor Bloom. Frederick Chilton was gutted, a bunch of gut and organs cut out of him when he was conscious. Will had been terribly ill at the crime scene. He had caught Gideon and brought him to Hannibal.

Will had been under the pretense that Garret Jacob Hobbs had been there at Hannibals dining table. He went into full panic mode when Hannibal denied this, and started having a seizure. Moments later Gideon was on his way to Alana Bloom, under Hannibals instructions. Will saved her, shooting Gideon. 

Soon after this Will was arrested under the account of murder. He had puked up an ear, belonging to Abigail Hobbs, who went missing after last being with Will in Minnesota. They found more human remains, just enough to convict him and Will knew soon enough who was behind it.

The dull ache of loneliness returned to him in prison. This time the pain was sharper and Will assumed this was what betrayal felt like. The only human being he had formed a connection to had done this to him. It had hurt terribly and all he wanted was for him to hurt just as bad. He seduced Matthew Brown, a young and naïve sociopath. They agreed to murder Hannibal. In the end Hannibal survived, thanks to Abel Gideon. 

As months went on Will went on trial. The judge had been murdered, presumably by Hannibal for stating his testimony as invaluable. 

Hannibal seemed to feel the dull ache too, because soon Frederick Chilton was framed for the murders, as police found Abel Gideons half eaten body in his home, along with plenty of evidence that would put him away for a very long time.

Will was hesistant to get close again, but being around Hannibal seemed to soothe the ache in his chest. Will was torn, knowing his friend was the Chesapeake ripper, but then again, he was also his friend. And he did not want to lose the person he felt a strong bond with. But the guilt weight too heavy on him. He and Jack came up with a plan. They would catch Hannibal and lock him up for good.

Months of prodding around and questioning Hannibal and Will had nothing. Some vague hinting but nothing to convict Hannibal on. They made their plan. They both knew Hannibal was close to being caught. They would invite Jack and serve him the lamb. They would dine quietly and when he least expects it they would go in for the kill. Together.

The lamb never got served. Hannibal was too smart and saw through Wills plan. Jack was stabbed in the jugular, Alana was pushed out of a window. When Will arrived at the house he was shocked to see Abigail alive. He had grown fatherly fond over the girl and the thought she had died had been haunting him for a long time. Abigail looked distressed and she was crying. He felt Hannibals presence behind him and Will felt his heart drop. The first time he saw Hannibals genuine emotions. His person suit had dropped and he radiated pure heartache. Will had broken his heart and betrayed his trust. Hannibal had gutted him, and Will had let him. He deserved this. After that he slit Abigails throat, leaving them both behind to die.

Months he spent in a coma. After he awoke the dull ache became heavier. He felt it deeply in the pits of his stomach, the straining in his thighs and the clenching of his jaw. He followed Hannibal down to Florence. Will felt like a drug addict looking for his next fix. All he wanted was to numb the pain that was throbbing behind his eyes now, and found it when he looked at Hannibal, in front of the Botticelli painting. 

He knew that Hannibal would run again and the thought of knowing Hannibal was dead seemed easier than to chase him all around the world. That’s why Will had tried to kill Hannibal. Chiyoh, a loyal servant to Hannibal, shot Will. Hannibal had taken care of him. He had served the table, and waited for Jack to arrive. When Will regained consciousness again Hannibal was taking a bonesaw to his head.

The next thing Will remembers is arriving at the Vergers estate. Mason was a former patient of Hannibal, who made him eat his own face. They would have to pay now. 

Will was fuming when they heared what was planned for him and Hannibal. Will wanted to make known whose side he was on, so he had bitten into Cordells cheek. Hannibal looked so pleased and Will felt a warmness spread in his chest. He wanted to hold on to that feeling.

Hannibal had saved him. Cordell had cut into Wills face without anesthesia and he had passed out from the pain. Hannibal murdered everyone that was in his way and took him home. Will woke up to being tucked into bed, in soft flannel pyjamas. He did not want Hannibal to be there. The loneliness was behind the corner, ready to pounce on him if he sent Hannibal away, Will was well aware of this, but he had no fight left in him. Hannibal had looked pained, as if the same monster was luring on him too should he part with Will. After a moment of hesitation Hannibal had gotten up and left.

Jack arrived at his house a few hours later. Will informed him that Hannibal was gone. A faint call of Jacks name was heared and Wills stomach turned. Hannibal turned himself in. He said he wanted Will to always know where he was. 

Will turned around and went into the house. It was the first and last time he allowed himself to cry. It hurt. The ache of being alone was throughout his entire body now. Hannibal had left Will. He had given up his freedom so Will would always know where he was. Will was so mad, he wanted peace, he wanted to feel worry about where Hannibal was, not knowing if he was close and not feeling tempted to visit him. Now he knew how close Hannibal was the pain of being alone worsened. 

Will saw Hannibal in everything. The chair he had sat on watching Will had a little notebook on it. The notebook contained riddles Will could fix to find Hannibal.

Hannibal left everything behind for Will to pick up. Picking up the pieces that layed broken on the floor in front of him. He burned the notebook and after two years of not seeing Hannibal Will still felt the dull ache deeply in his chest.

The pain of being alone would always be a problem for Will Graham.


End file.
